Navigating the District of Confusion

With so many people away during August, it's a good time to take stock of our stomping grounds which are laid out in a completely logical yet often incomprehensible manner. Navigating our grid might be a cinch for those super brainy aliens hovering above us, but even natives can get lost in this space.

Our forefathers started logically enough with First and A Streets radiating from the Capitol throughout the quadrants of Northwest, Southwest, Southeast and Northeast. The street names continue numerically, but in this universe, the alphabet ends at W and skips over J thus resulting in the 1000 block landing between K and L even though K is the eleventh letter.

Still with me?

Also keep in mind, that many streets around the Capitol were renamed for grand things like Independence which wiped out B Street.  Plus we have to watch out for avenues shooting through town at all angles. These streets were named for states in somewhat chronological and geographical order which is why Alaska aptly belongs in the upper reaches of Northwest,  and Mississippi is found deep in Southeast. At least that's what was supposed to happen. Somehow Arizona ended up in Northwest which I'm guessing was because Southwest ran out of room when DC handed land back to Virginia in 1847. And poor California Street got crammed in between Dupont Circle and Adams Morgan without getting avenue status. Ohio got a drive-by instead.

Before we get too confused, let's return to the grid. After we reach the outer limits of W Street, we blithely skip over X, Y and Z and repeat the alphabet theme with a two syllable series named for famous Americans starting with John Adams and ending with Webster. J is included this time for Jackson so we can relax on that front.

Preceding outwards, we arrive in three syllable territory. Here the names begin with Allison and end with Whittier. My favorite is Quackenbos, the first female Special Assistant United States Attorney.  Mary Grace Quackenbos, aka "Mrs Sherlock," was an early champion of women, the working poor, and immigrants. She also had sleuthing skills. Something to think about next time you cruise up Quackenbos.

Finally the fourth alphabet, which sounds like a secret code, occurs in the far eastern wilds of Northwest. Here the syllable count is dropped,  and floral names take over, hence Aspen through Verbena. (I guess Wisteria didn't fit.) Now, to make your head hurt, look at a map showing both sides of Rock Creek Park.  Nothing matches up from west to east never mind that even natives have gotten lost here.

George Washington Parkway used to add to the confusion when it ran on both sides of the Potomac River, but in 1989, Maryland came to its senses and renamed their section for Clara Barton, another great woman, whose house still stands within spitting distance of the road. She lived in Glen Echo Park where King Soul will be kicking things loose in the Bumper Car Pavilion this Thursday. (If you are alarmed that Canal Road, Clara Barton and the Cabin John Parkway all blend mercilessly into one another, play it safe and take MacArthur Boulevard.)

The show only lasts an hour which gives you navigational geniuses plenty of time to fly over the river for the Dave Chappell Band at JV's near the famed and fearsome crossroads of Seven Corners.

Friday night Parthenon Huxley, erstwhile ELO guitar guru, appears at Jammin Java, and on Saturday, Goin Goin Gone is back at the Takoma VFW; Lunch with Bob happens at Villain and Saint. All these bands boast veteran players...pick your poison.

Sunday DC's legendary Troublefunk throws down at Bethesda Jazz and Blues, and for those in a different mood, check out the mostly punk scene happening at the appropriately named "Snot Fest" at the Pie Shop on H Street. Northeast. Washington. D.C.

Now you know where you're going!

The Traveling Bug

Butterflies get most of the credit for spectacular migratory patterns, but some moths, dragonflies and beetles also hit the road seasonally. This behavior should not to be confused with that of invasive species- non-native pests which often come with destructive tendencies. Like tourists. The Insect Surfers fall into the former category as their founding member, David Arnson is very much a native migrator, and not a pest, although his indigenous behavior can cause quite a ruckus. The Arnson phylum infrequently submits to volkerwanderung, and any emergence should be noted.  In other words, The Insect Surfers will make a rare appearance at JVs this Saturday to celebrate the band's 40th anniversary of their exuberant time on Earth.

David's bro, the non-migratory Josh Arnson and his Honky-Tonk Heroes will open for the reunion. Get there early- as tickets are only available at the door. If you get there early enough, you can catch another DC original Goin Goin Gone playing a free show starting at 4:30 pm.

For those still in a surfy state of mind at week's end,  The Hula Monsters will be swinging Palisades Park. This is a picnicking, low key kind of event- perfect for chilling out despite the heat. Bring chairs or a blanket, and whatever else floats your boat on Sunday from 6-8 pm.

DC Music Fest

Hey DC. we've got a four night underground rock festival coming up this weekend, and you don't have to know the pre-sale code, or pay a knock-you-on-your-ass surcharge. You won't need a back stage pass to see the performers up close. You won't need binoculars; there will be no jumbo-trons. Just hard working, music loving people trying to rock our world.

The Tail Draggers and Monsters from the Surf kick things off on Thursday at the Takoma VFW. (Rumor has it that a former Slickee Boy might be sitting in, and the initials are not M.N., all you smarty pants.)

Friday night I strongly recommend the outrageously creative high energy of The Split Seconds at the Pie Shop.  Saw these guys Kick It Down at Slash Run which is devoid of a decent sound system by the by, so am looking forward to seeing them in a venue with good sound when they play with Curse Words (CD release party) Accident and Brace Face. A twelve buck cover makes that a mere $3 per band.

Saturday things calm down slightly with The Duskwhales' CD release party at Jammin Java. I saw this band at a David Bowie tribute, and these relatively young guys have their act solidly together. From drummer, Chris Baker:

"The Duskwhales started in 2010, which was early high school for us. The three of us grew up together and have lived, toured, and played countless shows together, but our favorite thing is writing songs and recording. We all generally have a predilection for 60's and 70's bands like The Beatles, The Beach Boys, and The Doors, but this EP is a collection of songs that are very special to us. They represent the era in which they were made over the past year or so." 

 Nah and Griefcat are also on the bill, and for those keeping track, that's 3 bands for $4 each. Still a bargain.

Finally, local musician Big Al Sevilla may be gone, but his sweet spirit lives on, and it will certainly be felt at the 9:30 Club extravaganza on Sunday.  First off it's a party, and Al loved parties.

Second, it's a panoply of musicians, too many to list, all donating their time and talent. If there's one thing Al loved more than parties, (and his wife Patsy,) it's music.

Third it's a benefit for Hungry For Music. Al was a giving soul, and this tribute will echo his generosity. All are welcome, and the event is free although donations are appreciated. If possible, please bring any musical instrument currently gathering dust in your house which would be better served in the hands of a young musician. (A truck will be out front.) Music starts promptly at 4:15 pm.

Side note: The Cal Ripken of the 9:30 Club is hoping to bump up his all time, unchallenged record of playing the club in both locations, more than anyone, from 91 to 94 gigs. And yes, his initials are M.N.

Doin Da Bump

August is when a good many Washingtonians bounce out of here in favor of the shore. When I go to the beach, I like to watch life play out at the bumper car pavilion. It's basic punk rock. Everyone is reduced to equal standing in a barely controllable vehicle built for getting stuck in awkward positions until bumped out of gridlock. Wouldn't it be fun if the Beltway worked like that?

This year I saw a blasé young woman casually texting and driving with one hand- somehow staying out of the fray and totally missing the point. I wonder was she killing time? Or just marking the End of Civilization?  Meanwhile classic stories spun out around her: a brother gleefully snuck up on his sister, parents aimed to startle offspring, and a boy overshot the girl of his dreams and bounced off a biker dude.  Unlike life, no one gets hurt in the Land of Bump.

Meanwhile, back here in DC, enjoy the slight dip in real traffic and get out to the plentitude of live shows coming up this month. Fort Reno's last hurrah happens tonight, and Saturday is especially packed with choices depending on your predilection or perhaps geography as you bomb around the Beltway. Rare Essence has a free show at Fort Dupont. Mark Segraves is hosting an "After Dark" fundraiser which benefits musicians at Villain and Saint with The Yachtsmen and Rock-A-Sonics.  Vintage #18 plays Takoma's VFW while on the other side of town punk rockers XMC will thrash the Falls Church VFW ( I sense a theme) The NRIs are among the many bands playing the Crescendo party also in Falls Church.  And 7 Door Sedan will be at El Golfo back over Silver Spring way. I know this is just the tip of the iceberg, but here are more suggestions:

AUGUST

1

Last Fort Reno Concert with Don Zientara, and  Ian, Amy, and Joe

Lunch with Bob @ JV's

2

Rodney "Pie MAn" / Ned Hill @ Slash Run

80s UK Soul Tribute @ City Winery

3

Vintage #18 @ Takoma VFW

The Yachtsmen/ Rock-A-Sonics @ Villain and Saint

XMC @ Falls Church VFW

7 Door Sedan @ El Golfo

NRIs @ Crescendo Studios

8

Monsters from the Surf/ Taildraggers @ Takoma VFW

9

Split Seconds @ Pie Shop

10

Duskwhales CD release show @ Jammin Java

Valentine Slim/ Col Josh @ Takoma VFW

11

Last Train Home @ Mason District

Big Al Tribute @ 9:30 Club

17

Goin Goin Gone (@4) @ JV

Insect Surfers Reunion @ JV

18

Hula Monsters @ Palisades Park

21

The Cynics/ Jake Starr @ Slash Run

22

King Soul @ Glen Echo (free)

Dave Chappel Band @ JV

23

Parthenon Huxley @ Jammin Java

25

Snot Fest @ Pie Shop

29

Rock-A-Sonics @ JV

Pony Fever or Stalking Misty

I don't know how many times I've read Misty of Chincoteague, and every other book Marguerite Henry wrote, but this year I finally made it to Pony Penning Day. (It's been such a long wait that "Misty" and a somewhat ancient version of the book I read are in a museum.)

Wild ponies have roamed Assateague since time out of mind, and the island is now protected by various park services, but the herd has raised money for the neighboring populated island of Chincoteague's fire department ever since 1924.

Every July the ponies are rounded up by "saltwater cowboys" and moved to Chincoteague via a quick swim across the narrowest channel separating the islands. After a rest, the ponies "parade" down Main Street to a holding pen by the carnival grounds. It's a pony Mardi Gras.

The next day, after an afternoon of intense pony gazing, select foals are sold at auction to fund the fire department, but also to keep the herd vetted and healthy, and at a manageable size.

_._

Back here on the mainland, catch a double header at Slash Run this weekend with former Slickee Boy and forever guitar slinger, Marshall Keith who will be rounding up fans when he opens for the Ubangis on Saturday,

and the Split Seconds, Drunk Mums, and BBQT take over the stage with gusto on Sunday. 

Please check the DC Rocks calendar for an incomplete list of many more alternatives of things to do if you are not dreaming of ponies at  the beach this weekend.

Over the Moon

I almost missed the lunar landing that Saturday afternoon in July 1969 because I was too busy playing outside. My mother had to yell at me to come in.  I didn't understand why everyone was making such a big fuss watching grainy footage of spacemen on TV. I knew that Bugs Bunny had already been to the moon and back, and what about "My Favorite Martian?" My mother informed me that "this was history." 

OK. I get it now. And I think it's pretty groovy that Apollo 11 will be recreated via a space age projection on the Washington Monument tonight and every evening through Saturday. 

For another cool scene on what promises to be miserably muggy evenings, I suggest Fort Reno at the top of DC tonight or DOGO at Lubber Run on Friday. (Man, if these bands can get out there and make music in this weather, the least we can do is rally up a bit of energy to watch them.)

Inside with AC, we have The Thrillbillys back at JV's with a newly bionic Johnny Castle. (Congratulations, JC), plus Wailin' Storms, Bound and Tone are making things happen at The Pie Shop- an excellent place to see bands by the by. Both shows are tonight.

The Skip Castro Band (now there's a rocket ship blast from the past) rock Jammin Java on Friday, and the Rock-A-Sonics tear up the New Deal Cafe on Saturday.

When the Rain Comes

Weird is the best way to describe a day that lost its light as the morning went on, almost as if the sun was setting just a few hours after rising. I felt compelled to turn on a lamp as the gloom descended.  Then the rain began.  At first I was relieved by the cool air coming through my window, but a short time later,  I heard sirens. This was the eerie scene down on Canal Road- not too far from my house.

Meanwhile my basement took on water which was not nearly as dramatic as other footage around town, but as quickly as the storm came, it moved on.  Fort Reno's first concert happened that same evening. People rallied here at the top of DC although tarps were de rigueur beneath the picnic blankets.

While I bailed out the basement, I celebrated the return of El Sol with a little K.C. and the Sunshine band. This cheerful little time capsule is also good for whatever angst is eating away at your soul.

The weather may or may not hold for all of the free outdoor shows this weekend, but there is much to choose from with another Fort Reno concert on Thursday,  featuring The Norms, The Osyx and Dirt Eater.  The Nighthawks rock Wheaton Veteran's Park on Friday, and King Soul will shake things loose at Lubber Run on Saturday. And don't forget the Capital Fringe Fest is going on for the next two weeks.

Rain checks indoors include The Rhodes Troubadours Troubadours at the Takoma VFW on Thursday and the Newmeyer Flyer Soul Tribute extravaganza at City Winery on Friday.

Fortitude for the Fourth

For me, the Fourth of July in Washington has been steadily losing its feeling of independence ever since Secretary of the Interior James Watt wanted to ban rock bands like the Beach Boys from attracting the "wrong element" to the mall in 1983. Yes. The Beach Boys. Watt thought that Wayne Newton, aka "Mr Las Vegas," would be a more wholesome choice.  Plus Wayne was a big supporter of Ronald Reagan, the Commander in Chief at the time. 

Gawd. 

I didn't think it was so bad when the Park Service banned couches as elaborate picnic gear.  Those often rain soaked sofas were usually rudely abandoned by the end of the night, leaving park rangers to haul them away, but next came the big crack down post  9-11. 

Before this we had finely tuned our fireworks routine to a precision drill.  We would depart at 8:45 pm with a carload of kids, zip up and then back down the midget sized E Street expressway so that our vehicle pointed north when we parked on the shoulder.  We then ran down deserted streets to the mall where we would throw down a blanket and gaze skyward. As soon as the last rocket fired off, we reversed gears and sprinted back to the car.  Most nights we could be home in time to see the fireworks again- on the 10:00 news. 

Sigh.

This year the Fourth has been flat out pre-empted by politics, VIP sections and tanks. I don't recall anyone asking if we, the people, wanted armored vehicles in the mix. Between snow fencing, bag checks and bicycle restrictions,  liberty feels like it is in lock down here. Even the river has no anchor zones. Here's a helpful guide from the Washington Post for what you can and can't do downtown. 

Uptown- things are different.  

The Palisades parade is an all-inclusive low security event. Anyone can participate and more often than not, risk heat stroke in the name of pageantry. 

After the parade, free hotdogs and watermelon are doled out by volunteers in Palisades park. Free. No VIP.

Meanwhile music abounds this July. Here's a partial listing of concerts to catch:

JULY

3

Rare Essence/ EU @ Hamilton

4

Drunk History @ Slash Run

5

7 Door Sedan/ Color School @ Villain and Saint

Jumpin Jupiter @ Pie Shop (free)

6

Justin Jones @ Hamilton

Last Train Home @ Union Stage

8

Fort Reno Concert 

11

Rhodes Tavern Troubadours @ Takoma VFW

Fort Reno

12

Nighthawks @ Wheaton Veteran's Park

Southern Soul Tribute @ City Winery

13 

King Soul @ Lubber Run

15 

Fort Reno

18

Fort Reno

Wailin Storms/ Tone/Bound @ Pie Shop

Thrillbillys @ JV

19

DOGO @ Lubber Run

The Duskwhales @ Sauf Haus Bier Hall

Skip Castro @ Jammin Java

20

Goin Goin Gone @ Takoma VFW

Rock-A- Sonics @ New Deal

25

Thrillbillys @ Takoma VFW

26

Teen Mortgage/ Capital Offender / more...@ Pie Shop

Watkins Glen Reunion @ Jammin Java

27

Ubangis and Marshall Keith @ Slash Run

Ray Apollo Allen / Goin Goin Gone @ JVs

28

Drunk Mums/ BBQT/ Split Seconds @ Slash Run

Jumping Jupiter @ JV (4 pm)

DC Rocks This Weekend

This year, mostly due to last winter's exasperating government shut down, the Smithsonian Folklife Festival will be Really Short and Very Local. The festival runs just two days this weekend with a go-go concert featuring activists from the Don't Mute DC movement on the docket as well as a punk rock "story time" given by a DC librarian.  A music market Saturday afternoon provides an unusual  chance to shop home grown labels from the well known Dischord to This Could Go Boom!  Hit the link for the full schedule.

Coincidently, another Smithsonian event goes native on Sunday with the "Space Was the Place" lecture at the National Gallery of Art at 2 pm. Seating is a first come first served kind of affair.

(Maybe the ever swelling tourist population will learn a thing or two about our fair city this weekend.)

Also lots of musical choices on the DC ROCKS calendar as June sneaks on out of here:

27

Dave Chappell Band @ JV

28

King Soul @ Mason District Park

Billy Coulter @ Rockville Town Square

29

Punk the Capitol @ AFI

Beanstalk Library/Nitepool @ Pie Shop

Laurel Canyon Tribute @ Birchmere

Ruthie and the Wranglers @ Soundry

30

Fuzz Queen/ Kosari @ Galaxy Hut

The Innermost Ear

Once upon a time in a studio far away from things afloat in the main stream, a man named Don Zientara worked his magic with the outliers and the mavericks that were bouncing around our Beltway. He recorded bands like Minor Threat, Bad Brains, Government Issue, Fugazi and more.

From Mark Noone of the Slickee Boys:

"In 1979 I found myself in the basement of a modest house in Arlington Va. This was the world renowned recording studio known as Inner Ear. Slickee Boys were recording the first record that I would  be on. I wrote one song, "Gotta Tell Me Why" and co-wrote "Forbidden Alliance" with Kim Kane. At the helm were Skip Groff and Don Zientara; two men who changed my life. 

I'll admit I never heard the great Skip sing, but Don does a darn good job of it. His singing and his songs are very much like him straight up and honest."


Don Zientara will be performing at one of my all time favorite watering holes- the Galaxy Hut this Monday June 24 with Dougie.

Summer Solstice Solace

The longest day is here. Here are a few thoughts for how to spend that extra day light:
                                     
Read a book just for fun hopefully in hammock. I recommend "The Man Who Came Uptown" by George Pelecanos

Sleep late on Sunday with impunity, then wander down to Fletcher's for river gazing or perhaps rent a row boat.

Find a bar without a TV like Lyman's Tavern, Jack Rose or Galaxy Hut and hoist a very local beer.
Raised By Wolves comes to mind...
or
plan an early evening picnic in Rock Creek Park and watch the local firefly show.

Mystical Marathons

James Joyce once wrote such a weirdly wonderful book that people still feel compelled to read it out loud every year, especially in Dublin, where they celebrate Bloomsday with Joycean costumes and specials on gorgonzola sandwiches and a glass of burgundy. "Not logwood that." (Right, Hugh?)
Joyce gives us the story of one day in the life of Leopold Bloom, June 16th, 1904 to be exact, encapsulated... or perhaps I should say elongated... into one long-ass Irish tome.  It begins with the line: "Stately, plump Buck Mulligan came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed, and, some seven hundred pages later, ends (spoiler alert) with the word "Yes." 

My friend Hugh urged me to tackle Ulysses once, several years ago, and it was like hearing everything in a man's head erupt out of a tinny speaker on a street corner. A teacher friend of mine gave me the best advice on wading through the experience. She said just keep reading the words.  Never mind what they mean.

Yes.

This Saturday,  the Bloomsday Marathon Reading begins at noon at Loyalty Books in Petworth and continues on at Petworth Citizen where Bloomsday inspired cocktails will help numb or enhance the experience which continues through the night and all day Sunday.

Another enigmatic marathon, the third annual Seventh Stanine Festival, also kicks off on Saturday starting at 2 pm at the house of Rhizome in Takoma DC, and will include our friends in Tone hitting the stage about five hours later.  From Norm Veenstra: "This festival will take place rain or shine -- the Rhizome house can be both shelter and source of sound."

And:
Little Red and the Renegades will be  testing out a new to them venue at Celtic House in Arlington and Valentine Slim will be hold forth at Rockville Moose Lodge. All on Saturday.

This week's alert: call before you go to any show happening at Villain and Saint.... The kitchen has closed, and things are going South in a hand basket over there.



get your joyce

Sign Me Up Chuck

CVS just ate the friendly little independent pharmacy in my neighborhood. Again. When the Company of Tyranny first arrived in our neck of the woods in 1997, it swallowed the MacArthur Theater whole, then slowly squeezed MacArthur Drugs until it was out of business. I'm sure this is all fine and dandy in the world of commerce, but chalk up another loss for things human. 

However, I am glad to see that our mayor, Muriel Bowser, is putting some effort towards preserving the arts in this town even as we vie with the rest of the U.S. for Number One in Gentrification according to a recent article in the Washington Post.  Mayor Bowser seems to understand that many artists qualify for that low income bracket, and thus a nose count was born.  The DC Music Census is open to all musicians and those related to the music industry who live in the area, not just within the borders of DC.  Submissions are accepted until June 25. Step up and be counted while you can. (God knows usually nobody asks.)

"Simply put, music matters in the District of Columbia,” said Mayor Bowser. “The musicians, the venue owners, the educators, the technicians, all areas of the music economy are important to who we are as a city. As the underlying component of my 202Creates initiative, supporting the DC creative community and economy is vital and the DC Music Census augments those efforts.” 

The census takes about 12 minutes. For the rest of your weekend, I'm eyeballing Billy Price at Jammin Java or the euphon-X extravaganza at Slash Run-both on Friday. No jerks allowed.