Random crime hit our neighborhood a few weeks back when police surmise that one or two gangs descended to ransack and steal cars. My car did not escape notice, but I wonder if the spree stopped there because the next car down was untouched even though it was left unlocked with expensive things inside. I think my block might have been spared because of Ed, the dead guy in my car.
I didn't mean to leave him there, but I am a terrible procrastinator. Ed arrived in a cardboard carton from Maine with a little note from a friend who hoped I could help fulfill Ed's wish to swim with the fishes in the Chesapeake Bay. My friend suggested I might toss him off the bridge on the way to the beach which is easier said than done when you consider little things like traffic and legalities. A fishing trip seemed a more likely scenario, but when the opportunity arrived, poor Ed was overlooked. Left behind, he languished on a radiator behind the fisherman's front door for months, semi- forgotten until I spotted him there. I figured if I took him home he might have a better chance of rising to the top of the to-do list, but alas, he landed in my car, and between summertime laissez-faire and an upcoming trip out west, Ed spent most of August tooling around town running errands before we left him behind once more.
Upon our return, school started up again and before I knew it, Ed became further buried in reusable shopping bags and books headed for the thrift store. And so it was that on that fateful Friday in September when the thieves hit our neighborhood, dear old Ed was still resting in peace in his cardboard carton on the back seat -perhaps giving new meaning to the term "neighborhood watch."
Early the following morning, a neighbor called to tell me that my car doors were wide open, and things were a mess. I hurried outside to find the contents of the glovebox strewn across the front seat and a change purse tossed onto the sidewalk. A poncho and picnic blanket had been pulled out of a small backpack and tossed aside, but a thrift store bound DVD player was left untouched right where it was-next to Ed's empty carton. I can only imagine what happened next when, after opening the grey plastic box within, a small pile of Ed fell on the seat. And although the cardboard was left by the DVD player, someone carefully placed Ed's official funeral home box right side up in the back of the car with most of Ed still in it -almost as if he were now properly riding in a hearse.
This may be one of the few times that procrastination has paid off, but in general, good people, it's not the best idea. Procrastination leads to inactivity which leads to societal rot which leads to musicians not getting paid. Please check out the calendar in the sidebar at
DC ROCKS. There's plenty of music you've been meaning to see this weekend. And next weekend, too....and the one after that.
