According to wikipedia "non-human species associated with stampede behavior include zebras, cattle, elephants, blue wildebeests, walruses, wild horses, and rhinoceroses." In the District of Columbia, a trip to the grocery store the week before Thanksgiving puts us right up there with the wildebeest. Woe betides the weak minded member of the pack who innocently strolls into Giant to stock up on necessities. She senses danger upon entry and soon finds herself in line behind a woman racking up $400 worth of provisions which include a giant foil roasting pan full of root vegetables while the clueless one behind her is buying paper towels and laundry detergent. And a chocolate bar.
Next year Clueless hopes to have the foresight to stock up on non- perishable items in advance and avoid this soul crushing experience. And for those avoiding all things grocery, home, and hearth on Thanksgiving Thursday, JV's will be open by 4 pm for dinner with the Dave Chappell Band hitting the stage round 8:30 pm. See one of DC's best players for no cover and, surprisingly, no stampede.
Friday catch the venerable Nighthawks at the stately State Theater, and on Saturday, Little Red and the Renegades will be throwing down their New Orleans vibe at New Deal Cafe.
If that's not your thing, Lunch with Bob fires things up at the Takoma VFW, or dare to split the herd and go to both.
Whatever the case, keep your wits and humor about you like the chaps in the photos above, and have a very happy thanksgiving!