Right Airport Terminally Wrong

I just got back from taking my daughter to Reagan National Airport where the security level and the air quality are a lovely shade of orange today . I always refused to call it "Reagan," but now I'm thinking the name fits-that place is as confused as he was. I talked to a shuttle bus driver, and he's been working there 7 years and still gets lost himself. He even pointed out that the terminal shuttle bus stop sign says nothing about it being a shuttle bus stop. For me it started when I parked in the lot for terminals A B and C only to find out you had to take a bus to A which is the old original terminal. (Them were the days- imagine this- you drive up to a one story, well marked building. You park about twenty feet away in some senator's space and run in to meet your party. Not necessarily legal, but no security- and no, I didn't get towed, and it was not a big deal.)( Sigh.)
So we get on the bus, we get to Terminal A, and I say goodbye to the kid. I go back to near where I got on the bus, and this time there is a sign on a shelter saying "terminal shuttle", but the bus blows right past me because the stop is actually about twenty feet away. At least the driver waits for me to walk over to the bus. And it's about now that I realize I am NEVER going to be able to find my car again. I am completely disoriented after catching a bus and circling the airport twice. So I tell the driver, and he lets me off where he thinks I parked. Nothing looks familiar. I go upstairs, knowing I parked on the second floor. I can't even see the terminal. Slowly it dawns on me that I might be in long term parking, and I find a nice woman who confirms this and directs me to short term parking, just a small hike away. Then a miracle occurs; I do find my car. I get out of there only to be dumped into rush hour traffic on a road with no name, leading me onto 395 north. I bail at Maine Avenue, twirl around Southwest and with no help whatsoever from DDOT, I get back on that nice road which runs between the river and the Washington Monument, but doesn't have a single sign. If I lived here, I'd be home by now.